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The Puppy Chronicles

December 13, 2006

My puppy is not feeling to great these days. Yesterday was the "big day" for him. At about 8:00 a.m. we got him up and he ran around the house. He played with toys and had tons of energy. Then we loaded him up in the car and dropped him off at the vet. At 2:30 p.m. I went back to pick him up. He wobbled out to the car and now does nothing but stand around the house. He doesn't eat, he doesn't run, he doesn't jump, he doesn't play, he doesn't even want to lay down. He just stands there and stares off into space. Yesterday was neuter day.

Top 10 Reasons to neuter your pet:

1. To Reduce Pet Overpopulation -- There are dogs running around everywhere. I tried to take my dog for a walk the other day and ran into 8 different dogs and only got a block from my house. It's hard to walk your dog with a bunch of loose dogs running up to my dog sniffin his bum. Stop this insanity, neuter your pet.

2. Decrease Roaming -- 90% of dogs who are neutered stop roaming and just stay home. I can't say I blame them. My dog liked to run around all over the place. The only time we could take him out to potty was on a leash. Hopefully some of his roaming tendencies are gone now. His embarrassing loss of manhood may just keep him sulking at the house.

3. Decrease Aggression -- Male dogs are typically aggressive. This could calm down their aggression towards other male dogs. You would think that loosing your family friends would cause you to be more aggressive when the neighborhood dogs come over to make fun of you.

4. Less Urine Marking -- OH PLEASE LET THIS WORK. The dog has been lifting his leg on everything. Cardboard boxes, bags, walls, bushes, cars, shower curtain, cats, couches, pillows, blankets, towels, and anything else he sees fit to lift his leg on and give a little squirt. I neutering doesn't stop this then we may be cutting something else off later.

5. Decreased mounting behavior -- Male dogs tend to try to mount just about anything. For instance: my arm, my leg, the couch, blankets, toys, other dogs, and just about anything he can get his litter arms wrapped around. Really this is quite embarrassing. The dog is so bad that he greats people at our front door with a courtesy hump. A nasty habit. Hopefully this ends that.

6. Eliminates Prostatic Hyperplasia -- Basically this means his prostates won't swell up and cause him to have a hard time taking a dribble. He'll pee fine for years to come. This could be a good thing for him and a bad thing for us if you think about it...

7. Reduces Prostatic Cysts -- This is another benign reason for the prostate to enlarge that occurs very uncommonly in neutered dogs. Anything to make my dog healthier right? I think he would agree.

8. Reduces Prostatitis -- Infections of the prostate are common in male dogs, and uncommon once they are neutered. He will thank me someday.

9. Eliminates Testicular Tumors -- No way you can get testicular cancer with no testicular. Hey, any male can appreciate this right?

10. For a Happier, Healthier, Calmer Pet-- Neutered dogs tend to be content to stay at home with their owners and are usually calmer, less aggressive, and happy! A Neutered dog is a happy dog!

I was greeted by my happier, healthier, calmer pet this morning. He got out of his bed and slowly wobbled into the living room. His tale doesn't wag, he doesn't have any energy, he doesn't feel like eating, and he doesn’t want to sit. He just stands around. I took a shower this morning and when I got out he was still standing and staring in the same place he was in when I got in the shower. Poor little guy. His is rather pitiful and I feel a little sorry for him.

As he heals he will get better and maybe one day he will forget that he even had those things in the first place. Then again, maybe he will be a sad, depressed little puppy with nothing left to live for. Hopefully he doesn't decide to just end it all and go sit in the middle of the street.

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