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The Battle With Obesity: We're Not Alone

October 06, 2006

Being obese and struggling with eating always made me feel like I was alone. I honestly didn't think anyone else could understand this battle that I was going through and why I always failed. It seemed so easy for others around me to eat whatever they wanted and stay thin. For me, that never happened. The insecurity that comes from feeling so bad about myself made me feel like I there was no way out and that the people around me looked down on me for being overweight. I couldn't play many physical games with others and I could barely keep up with our youth. This was super evident during our last mission trip when we had a relay race and the entire group pretty much left me behind because I couldn't keep up. Unfortunately they were depending on me to get to the stations before they could do each of the tasks. It was embarrassing to show up a few minutes later than everyone else because I was so overweight that I just couldn't do it.

The other difficult thing that made me feel so alone was that every-time I went to shop for clothes I could rarely find anything that fit. Most of the stores that my wife shops at have mens clothes, but they are not meant for people my size. In fact, if I wanted pants or jeans I would have to look at the very bottom of the pile to try and find some my size and I rarely would. Most of those type of stores, like American Eagle, stop at a waste size of 36. I am way beyond that. So I could only patiently look at clothes that I thought were nice and wish that I could fit into them.

I bought two new suits when I started as intern at the church 6 years ago. There is now way that I can fit into them now. I can't even pretend to squeeze into the same coat size. I've got to move up to a size 50 coat, which puts me in the section of suites that are designed for my grandpa. All the nice, stylish suits are for skinnier people. And thus, once again I find myself being alone and ashamed.

We go to six flags every year because it is really close to home. Each year I ride the Batman and each year the shoulder harness continued to get tighter and tighter. This year when I sat in the seat and tried to pull the shoulder harness down I couldn't get the strap to lock in because I was so big. The worker had to come over and push on the harness really hard until the strap locked in and then I was squished in so tight that I was in pain during the entire ride. Rides are not fun when you can't fit into the seat.

It's hard to believe I let myself get this big. And yet there are so many other people who are struggling with a lot of the same issues. Ken Pierpont left a comment that directed me to his blog entry entitled How I lost 105 pounds. It is an excellent article and it helped me to realize that I'm not alone in this struggle. All that he struggled with sounds so very familiar to me.

There are three things that are helping me win this battle:

(1). My desire to "Be Holy" and obedient. Knowing that this is a spiritual issue and a sin problem I believe that my Jesus died to defeat that sin and I no longer have to be its slave! This is a powerful motivation that makes me absolutely determined to be healthier. Without this determination I would fail like I have in the past. I am so determined to accomplish this goal that I am consumed by it. I think about it day and night. It drives me and pushes me when I don't want to go any further. It is essential, without it I would never be able to do this.

(2). Accountability and Support. My wife is by my side every step of the way during this whole process in my life. She is there to support me and help me. I also find great encouragement and support with my pastor and his wife who have been on this program for around 6 months now and have lost weight. It helped me see that this is possible and that there is hope at the end of the tunnel. We talk about it all the time at work now too, which makes it like a mini-support group if you want to think of it that way.

(3). Structure. If you read Ken's article you will find that he lost his weight without using a diet plan or buying anything. I think that is awesome. Unfortunately for me I have a little different personality. I am a person who needs lots of structure and strict guidelines. If I leave things up to myself I will fail, but if I have guidelines or a book that says to do things a certain way I will follow the instructions to the letter. I purchased the Weight Watchers material for the sole reason of getting this structure. I don't see it as "just another diet plan", I see it as a tool to help me reach my goal. I now have books that show me point values on foods. Low calorie, low fat, and high in fiber foods have low points. High calorie and high fat foods have high points. This keeps me on a low calorie, low fat diet without having to do a whole lot of work. I have a point calculator, a daily journal, healthy eating tips, cook books, a pedometer, exercise guides and several other things that work together to provide for me a solid structure that I can live with. It is becoming more obvious to me that I've finally found something that can be a lifestyle change for me, not just another fad diet.

The weight watchers plan is very similar to what my brother has done all of his life. He was born with diabetes. He has had to stay on a strict diet all of his life. He weighed is food all out, counted calories, and stayed away from things with lots of sugar and fat. If he wanted to eat something extra he could exchange things. If he wanted two starches he could give up something else in order to have what he wanted. It's worked for him all his life. Yet, it wasn't structured enough for me. I tried it and couldn't do it. I had to many questions and to many things I had to figure out on my own. With weight watchers it is the same thing. I'm measuring stuff out and I'm exchanging things, but I'm doing it all with a point system that makes a whole lot of sense to me. All of this to say that it is my style. While it is right for me, I think there are many who would be unsuccessful at this type of program. A lot of it depends on the person and finding a structure that works for you.

Comments

Posted by: AD
October 6, 2006 04:20 PM

Wow, what a very powerful post. I want to wish you all of the luck with trying to lose weight. Dont give up but it sounds like with your strong support system you will not fail. Exercise and a good healthy diet is the key. Follow your plan, stay determined and focused and you will succeed. I hope all works out for you. Good luck!

Posted by: Ken Pierpont
October 7, 2006 07:45 AM

Glad the article was helpful. I think you are right about a plan. Everyone is different. Stay in touch I would love to pray for you and coach you to freedom. Have you read "Hunger for God" by John Piper?

Did you find the other weight management articles?

Posted by: Pressed
October 8, 2006 05:41 PM

You know Ken. I had a bit of trouble navigating the search, but I finally found the "How I lost 105 pounds" article after awhile. I didn't find the weight management articles but I also ran out of time on Friday. I will get to those soon though.