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Loneliness and the Middle School Blues

April 25, 2006

Craig is gone this week to hunt with J.D. Huitt and Rick Thomas in Houston, Missouri. This is the first time that we have been apart, except for a sleepover at the Schatz's with Briana, since we've been married. I cried when he left. Yes, I know that makes me seem like a three-year-old who has just been left with a babysitter, but I was genuinely sad that he was leaving me, even if just for a couple of days...he left Sunday and he'll be home on Wednesday.

Anyway, three of my "little sisters" from church came to spend the night with me last night and J.D.'s wife, Hannah, came over, as well, and we had dinner together and just spent time catching up. When Craig left, I thought I would be the loneliest person alive and that I would spend my time crying over him and wishing that he would return. I have been surrounded with wonderful friends and family, however, so I haven't felt the longing of company. Amazing for me, really. I think, however, he is missing home and is excited about returning to the normalcy of life here in good ole' Sullivan.

Last night was a very interesting one for me, as the girls are having a hard time with allowing me to be their authority. For so long I've been their "big sister" and we have done so many things together and shared so much that I guess I'm more of their friend and confidant than in charge of them. This will be remedied with time and patience on my part and on theirs' and I am not concerned about it all that much. What I am concerned about, however, is the huge burden that these young women deal with every day. One of the girls is in the seventh grade, in which girls she knows are involved in sexual promiscuity. It just boggles my mind to hear these things, breaks my heart to hear the two ninth graders talk about the many partners their friends have had and the parties that have occurred. My co-worker told me today that she is going to lock up her grandchildren. She is currently working with 5th and 6th graders on Sunday evenings to prepare them for the "war zone" they enter every day. When I was in middle school, the most important thing on my mind was which girl's house the sleepover was at and which lip gloss was the one "in style". Today, students are dealing with so much more and they are so young! It is up to us, as parents and friends and adults, to share the trials with these students, to reach out to them and be a place of refuge in this mixed-up, crazy world.

Please join with me in praying for our teenagers. They are dealing with so many struggles and burdens and I know that the load is often too much for them to bear. If you have a passion to work with teenagers, get plugged into a local church body and volunteer in the youth group. Be a shining light to these students, someone they can pour their heart out to without fear of retribution. Love them, with all you've got.

Kendall

Comments

Posted by: Nick
April 25, 2006 05:18 PM

Kendall,

I'm getting married in 18 days and I'm afraid that my fiancee will take it hard whenever I go off for youth trips after we're married. (Two separate weeks even this summer at least.) Any advice to help encourage her during these times?

Posted by: Beebeedee
April 25, 2006 06:42 PM

There isn't anything wrong with that, it's just showing how much you love your husband

Posted by: Kendall
April 26, 2006 02:23 PM

Beebeedee,
Thanks for the encouragement! I'm just excited that Craig is coming home today...YAY!!

Nick,
While I must admit that I am still a little afraid to stay in my own house alone...I'm 21, almost 22, it's time to get over it, I know...I am honestly able to get some things accomplished that I hate to do when Craig is home. I was also able to have some of the youth girls over to the house while he was away and we got to spend some quality time together.

The most helpful advice that I can give any couple who experiences time apart, especially right after getting married, is to make sure to spend lots of alone time together before. Make time to just be with one another. And make sure to keep communication lines open, that's a big one for us...Craig always calls every day when he is gone, and just hearing his voice makes all the difference in the world. Just make sure that she knows that you're thinking of her, that you're missing her just as much as she's missing you! If she needs anyone to talk to, my email address is on the website!

Posted by: Nick
April 27, 2006 06:32 AM

My fiancee is often scared to be alone at home by herself too.

Thanks for your advice. Most of the time that I'm gone I'll be taking middle schoolers with me, but I don't guess they'll all go. :-) But I can see the transferable principle there.

You might you don't have lots of Middle School girl sleepovers at your house when Craig is home? :)