Avoiding Evil

Today was a hard day. Not necessarily a bad day, but definitely a hard one. I couldn’t get motivated, I didn’t prepare like I should have, I was distracted, and I felt like I was spinning out of control. I am normally someone who is extremely organized, however today I was a mess. Later in the afternoon I began to think about our Youth services tonight, the fact that I am the Spiritual leader of these students, that they deserve better, and I recognized my own weakness and wickedness. My flesh haunted me today and God dealt harshly with me. My heart was burdened and troubled for most of the day and my spirit was heavy. God wanted me to pray, he wanted me to admit my troubles, and he wanted to talk. I knew it. I knew God was drawing me to Himself and yet I pulled away. I found other things to do and in my mind I kept saying, “later, I’ll do it later.” Later never came, of course, and finally I simply forgot until, out of the blue, our intern said “we need to pray!” It was at this moment that God had me. When the intern said “we need to pray” I immediately recognized God’s authority, His sovereignty, His mercy, His patience, and His grace. God was not going to let me go upstairs to that youth room without consulting Him first. We knelt to pray and it was such a sweet and powerful time. God’s presence and peace overflowed in abundance as we begged and pleaded with Him to work in spite of our weaknesses. I fessed up to God, told Him my struggles, confessed the things that chained me and He set me free. God is rich in mercy and abundant in grace. It amazes me that He would deal with a wretched, sinful creature like me with unfailing patience and undeniable love. Later I realized why God needed to talk to me… it was not until later that I knew why God called me to such a sweet time of prayer. There were several things that I had to deal with tonight that I was not prepared for. God knew it, I didn’t. I know now why it was so important and why God wouldn’t leave me alone until I came to Him in prayer. God was strengthening me, cleansing me, and preparing me for the evening that was to come. I am glad he did! Like I said, today was hard, but it is one day that I would never trade. All the pain, suffering, and struggles that I dealt with today were all worth it to just have that one sweet moment with God, kneeling in the floor of my office, being so captivated by the presence of God that I could do nothing but weep. I long for such moments with my Lord…