In my ethics class we were given this question and asked how we would respond to the situation.
Suppose you are the pastor or staff member at a local church. A mother and father who are dedicated Christians approach you and say that there son who is a junior at MU or any other (Big State U) announced his homosexuality to them over the weekend.
What advice would you give them? What is your approach? Share your ministerial approach to this situation.
Here was my response:
This situation is fairly close to home for me right now in my ministry. I have a good friend who has family members that announced their homosexuality. I also have three aunts in my own family who are open homosexuals. In addition to this, there are some students in our local high school who have announced their homosexuality and the teenagers in my youth group are not really sure how to act in regards to this issue. Needless to say I have thought about this. While it is an easy thing to discuss and think about, when it comes to real life I find it far more difficult an issue, even more so when it is your own family. This being said, unless you are going through it in your own family, I think it is really quite difficult to understand the onslaught of emotions the parents will be going through. It’s important that we are sensitive to the emotional state of the parents as we talk with them about their son. Assuming they are faithful Christians who are grieving over their son’s situation, I think we should grieve with them. I would answer any questions they may have about the Biblical stance on homosexuality and would certainly offer my prayer and support to them as they deal with this.
My advice to them would be to love their son. They should never stop loving their son and expressing that love to him. That’s the easy part. The hard part is never accepting his new lifestyle. There are some major consequences to that decision, which I would share with the parents. It could mean that he may never talk to them again unless they accept what he does. It may mean he will never come home if he cannot bring his partner with him. It may mean he will remove himself from his own family if that family won’t accept his lifestyle. It may mean he will not feel loved if his choice to be a homosexual is not accepted, regardless of how the parents continually express love for him. However, in the face of what could happen I would encourage the parents to hold strong to their love for him but never accept what he does. I believe this is a Godly response. Regardless of our sins, God loves us and while we were yet sinners he would even die for us, but that never meant He simply accepts our sin. It is sin that separates us from God and damages our relationship with Him, but it will never damage his love for us and desire to see us Holy as he is Holy. So, the most important advice I could give them would be to never stop praying for their son and never stop loving him.
As I told my students in our youth group, we would be wrong if we treated homosexuals with anything other than love, kindness, and gentleness. However, we should never deviate from what is right. Our response to homosexuals may need to be love, but our stance on what the Bible says should never be compromised. I think the church has the same responsibility as the parents. As his Pastor, I would love him and respond in prayer and support to him as a person and yet let him know where I stand on this issue, assuming he would listen or agree to talk to me. Depending on how he responded to that would determine my next step. If he was remorseful and wanted help I would do everything that I could to help him or I would find someone who could. I would fight for him and support him all the way. If he responds in anger and resentment, I can only love him anyway and pray that God would deliver him.
I pose this question to you: As a pastor or staff member of a church or as a good Christian friend to that family, what would your approach and response be in this situation?
