Love. Such a difficult thing to define, discuss, and grasp. The western world puts a huge emphasis on falling ‘in love.’ Some people that I have talked to even go so far as to say that “greater love cannot come after marriage.” Basically saying that when you marry someone it is because you are ‘in love’ which is the greatest love, and so the concept of love coming after the marriage is ludicrous to them. They stress love as the reason for commitment and would define love as more of a feeling and emotion than anything else.
What is the problem with that? If love is an emotion or feeling then that means emotion is the basis for marriage. Feelings and emotions change like the wind, and go up and down like a roller coaster depending on your mood. Which means your marriage will fluctuate and change as often as your emotion does.
The Hebrew idea of marriage is different. Their emphasis is on commitment over a feeling. They are committed to stay true to the relationship regardless of the fluctuating passion or emotion. The Hebrew idea is that commitment comes first and out of that comes passion and intimacy, thus you have a stable relationship.
I agree that our culture emphasizes passion and emotion over commitment. Most of our society today lives under the principal “if it feels good do it.” Our feelings and emotions are beginning to become more important than our intelligence, reason and morals.
Is love a feeling and emotion like the western culture believes? Or, is love a commitment? If it is neither of these things, then what is love? Without telling you what I think, I would like to hear what you think! Let me know in the comments.
Pressed
WOW! Thank You…I just figured out why My wife puts up with me.
I think that the best explanation I have ever heard about love is found in the Bible. Whether or not a person believes that the Word of God is truly the Word of the Almighty God, Creator of the universe, the description of love in 1 Corinthians 13 is right on the money. Too bad we can’t all see it that way. We definately do live in a society that believes that anything that feels good is moral and ethical. It’s really sad. You are onto something, Pressed. It does truly appear that our feelings and emotions have become more important than our intelligence, reason and morals. Wow! Thanks for the awesome post. We will have to put a link to it at our site!
Katie
To me personally, love means many things. It is definitely a committment. I hesitate to use the word with casual friends because of what it means to me. When I say, “I love you”, to friends, family or whoever, it means I am willing to be there for them through thick and thin. That our relationship has come to the point where no matter what they do, I care for them and want to see them through it. God has taught me a lot about love in the last few years and I’m so thankful that His love is not based on emotion, or man would we be in trouble!
i’m not too keen on the phrase “in love” because basically what it means is “infatuation.” i believe that you can love someone, and there are different kinds of love (i’m in the process of reading c.s.lewis “the four loves”). i’ve heard members of my church proclaiming that, after marriage, they find out more and more facts and attributes of their spouse that makes them love them even more (thus negating the “greater love cannot come after marriage” deal). anyhow, love in my opinion is an action rather than emotion. when you love someone, you act upon the good of that person, you choose to do it, etc etc, la la la. the end.
Great post. I have heard some people that are married say some mornings they get up they don’t feel “in love” The USA people have a lot to learn about commitment. We are commeted to nothing but ourselves and what is best for us.
Love is looking at your children and wondering how they could be so impossibly beautiful.
Love is a choice. I’m glad I ran across this post…I led a series of Bible Studies on love last semester and chose to title it “Love is Not a Feeling”. Oddly enough, our current study is “Faith is Not A Feeling.” Basically I think our emotions are a poor predictor of anything. They are easily influenced by others and seem to run rampant beyond our control.
Looking back on my life I realized I never Learned love, that I have always “felt” love. I have spent many years reaching out for a love that cannot be given by any human being. The love that I was searching for I have only recently found. A reliance, dependence, trusting and knowing that God has my best in His plan. It is so difficult for me to let go of myself and everyone around me and depend only on Him to work out the mess which I have created for myself. I find myself searching in Him to find peace for the thing that I desire most–Love. A love so pure and blameless that can never hurt me, use me, or leave me. Seperating myself from the search seems to be the most heart breaking of all. Hoping for a life greater than what I have given myself, I am really trying to put all of my “wants” for my life out of mind and seek the needs that God has for my life. What do you do when you ruin one of the most precious gifts from God?
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