While reading the book Christian Worship by Franklin M. Segler I came across a chapter dealing with children in worship services. If nothing else this chapter has brought to my attention a few concerns about how churches handle children in worship.
There are a large number of churches that have what is called Children’s Church on Sunday mornings. More often than not this is not in addition to, but instead of the regular worship service. The children actually go to a separate room to have their own service away from the adults. I began to ask myself the question, what purpose does this actually serve? Does it have a positive or negative effect on our children? I would like to clarify that I am talking about older children, around 1st grade and up. The ultimate question that I am dealing with is whether or not it is better for children to be in the worship service with adults or for them to be in their own service apart from everyone else.
In order to fully understand this I would have to ask each individual church what their purpose for children’s church is. For instance if the purpose of children’s church is an attempt to separate the children from the worship service for the convenience of the adults then I would have to say that it is a horrible practice and a mistake. However, if a church has this program in order to help the children grow spiritually in worship and in a relationship with God then we should consider the question of which one actually helps the child grow more, regular worship service or children’s church.
I believe that worship should be something that everyone experiences in a church, whether they are children, teenagers, or adults. Could it be that our worship services are designed to facilitate the thinking of adults only ultimately neglecting the needs of both children and teens? Shouldn’t our worship services be designed specifically to lead the “family” in worship and not the individual? Yet it seems as if we are splitting the family up by pulling children out, segregating the youth (offering nothing for them) and speaking only to the adults. Sunday school is an age graded program designed specifically to reach certain age groups. Corporate worship should be designed to reach all age groups as we all come together for celebration and worship. Should worship ever be an exclusive act? If not then shouldn’t we be doing all that we can to ensure our worship services represent and reach at least some aspect of all of its members, children, youth, young adults, median adults, and older adults?
Children’s Church – The bad side:
When we separate children from the rest of the congregation they are aware that they are in “pseudo-church” while “real church” is going on somewhere else. They recognize that the service they are in is not actually “church” and they are in no way learning how to act in a worship service.
It is a known fact that children learn by example. In fact they learn more by example than they do by hearing words, therefore, in the corporate worship services the children will be learning by watching what everyone else does. As their parents sing, take notes, and participate in the service the children are in the process of learning. Watching baptisms, the Lord’s supper, drama’s, things on the screen, these are all visual aspects of the service that will invoke learning in the child. They will learn not only how to act but how to worship even if the content of worship is not fully understood. I dare say this is something they do not often get in children’s church. However the negative side to this is that if a parent talks of the importance of worship and then doesn’t sing hymns the lesson is lost, unfortunately we face the risk of bad examples.
Children are more likely to perceive their world through their senses than adults. Hearing, seeing, touching, smelling, tasting could all invoke a learning experience in a child. The simple act of holding a hymnal or pointing to the words as you sing together as a family could be a powerful learning experience.
Children’s church does place children in an environment where they are with other children. It allows the teacher to design everything specifically for them to help them to learn. Wait a minute! That sounds just like Sunday school. Except for the fact that it is a large class with more kids, more distraction, and a larger need for control. In corporate worship the children are with their parents, and not necessarily in a large group distracting each other.
My other concern deals with the family. As a church, if you say that one of your values is the family and yet you never do anything to help the family or bring them together then I am not sure if the family is really a value that you hold dear. It may be a false assumption! If you separate the family in Sunday school, corporate worship, and Wednesday nights, and if you never have a time where the family is actually together then how can you say you support strong families? Are we not separating them instead? Even during meals you find that children set with children, youth set with youth, and adults set with adults, which represents exactly how they are segregated at every other service the church offers.
Children’s Church – The good side:
As I said before, children’s church does offer an environment where kids can be together with some of their own age group. They can interact, ask question, and have some fun at the same time. It is certainly a time that they can have a meaningful bible study and experience growth.
Children’s church can also help to aid the kids in specific learning capacities. You can teach them about aspects of the worship service, things that we celebrate and do. Though they won’t see it in action and they do not get to participate in it as they would in “big church” they will have some knowledge of it. Just remember, kids learn more by example than they do by hearing it! You can teach them about hymns, baptism, the Lords supper, and other aspects of the service. You can show them videos and do things to hit all of their senses in order that they may learn. There are things you can do outside of the worship service that are certainly beneficial.
There are other times when the needs of children would be best served in a separate worship service as well. If your church has a large amount of children who come without their parents with no previous worship participation experience then it would be better to have them in children’s church. But you could gradually get them into the regular worship service by enlisting adults to serve as church parents.
My Conclusion:
It seems to me like all of the benefits that children get with children’s church could be given to them through Sunday school or other times that children meet together, but the stuff they are missing in the corporate worship service cannot be replaced! It would be better for them to be in worship and experience children’s church at a separate time than for them to completely miss the service and then suddenly when they are in 6th grade be forced into corporate worship with not much previous experience.
There are many different ways that we can reach children in a worship service. Giving out children worship packets, having things in the bulletin specifically for them or things on the screen. You could have children join the service every other week or have them come in for the worship and dismiss before the message. There are several different ways to do this. We have the ability to design our services in such a way that reaches everyone instead of designing them for adults only and boring everyone else to death. I certainly do not hold all of the answers and I would like your opinion on the subject as well. I would however like to see our churches today teaching our children family values by actually letting them be with their family. An inconvenience? Maybe. An experience that could change their life forever? Certainly. Is it worth it? Defiantly!
Should children be in corporate worship? I say yes. Others say no. What do you say?
Pressed
I have been in both “types” of congregations. I think that children should be included with the adults for the main service. My pastor has what he calls, “children’s devotions” right before the main lesson or sermon if you will. It usually consists of all the little children ( ages 2-12 ) coming up to altar and sitting around pastor right on the floor. Pastor doe a childrens version of the text sermon for that day. It really is quite special!
A question
Go read latest from Avoiding Evil . Then leave him a comment. Very interesting!…
This is one of the main things that helped push me to a smaller, house assembly. I couldn’t find a “regular” assembly that allowed (unwritten rule) my kids to stay with my wife and I during the service.
Now, I have never relied on an assembly to spiritually train my children, that’s my job. So I don’t see the need to separate them to an environment where they are being taught - and who knows WHAT they’re being taught! I would rather them see what they NEED to see - adults worshiping and praising God.
One day while listening to “Mystery of Mercy” by Caedmon’s Call, my youngest daughter came into the room and began dancing, unprompted. She paid no attention to me at all in fact, she was caught up in worshiping God with a pure, innocent heart. It brought me to tears. You can’t tell me kids wouldn’t benefit from corporate times of worship…I know better.
My father has been a small-town, rural pastor for the past 30 years, and he, my girlfriend and I were having a conversation about this very issue a few weeks ago. We all supported the idea that kids need to learn to be in worship, with the full community. I don’t think “children’s church” adequately prepares them to join the congregation when they are old enough.
The church I now attend has two services. I usually attend the early service, which is not segregated, but we have “children’s church” offered as an option during the second service.
Yes, sometimes having children in the sanctuary can be a distraction. Some are better-behaved than others, and it’s miserable to sit behind a fidgety child who is taking your attention away from the service. But that’s a relatively small price to pay for ensuring that the congregation is together as a cohesive unit.
My father loves to tell people that he’s loud enough to preach over any crying baby!
John, I have heard other Pators say the same thing. I think PARENTS are more concerned about their childrens behavior than other church members or church staff!!!
I don’t like the segragating the of the church family into age groups for corperate worship. It seems that when that is done, part of the family is not there. I think the reason many churches have a children’s church is so children will not be a distraction and that, I think, is a shame.
LinkUP2
There are some good entries and posts around the blogosphere, unfortunately, they aren’t coming from me. Sigh. However, I can show you where some of that good stuff is posted. Pressed has been churning out all kinds of good stuff. Maybe its the new des…
As you say, I think the children are a part of the family and therefore should take part in worship, but that “children’s church” can be beneficial for the kids too. In our church, we usually split the service into two parts - one half where everyone was included and where the introduction to the theme of the service was given, and one half (the sermon) where kids and grown-ups were separated. At least once every second month we had special “family services” where the entire service was designed from the children’s perspective. Those services were usually more visited than the “regular” ones, for some reason. Maybe “receiving the Gospel as a child” is something that all appreciate? (Sorry if there are some strange looking sentences - church English isn’t my best language )
ah, a question we are just beginning to wrestle with. the children in our small church range from 6 yrs. to 3 mos. so far children’s church has consisted mostly of nursary care. we recently hired a university student to staff a children’s program, and she seems enthusiastic and gifted.
still, my daughter turns three on monday, and i’m starting to want her involved and present with us. not because she isn’t being/won’t be taught and loved in children’s church; but rather because of the opportunities to interact with her, to observe her and have her observe me, etc. that said, i am quite involved with the execution of our services, so the reality is my wife would be the one sitting with her most of the time.
I suppose it depends on your adult worship service. Sometimes I want to go to children’s church. There are those days when you don’t receive anything, probably our own faults.
I don’t want to be the only one to disagree but I look at it from the spiritual feeding aspect. When you sit down with your kids at dinner they sit with you at the table but they don’t eat the same things you do. My 10 month old son is eating solid food but for a while all he could take was milk. There are still some things he can’t handle.
No matter how well behaved some children are, they need the milk, not the meat yet. They have to be weaned spiritually. The solution is in making sure that our children’s church is not just a babysitting service passing away time but that they are genuinely being prepared for adult church.
that’s my goal as the youth pastor, to get my teens to grow up and contribute to our local church in a mature, christian way. If when they graduate from youth group they stop coming to church, I have failed.
But you don’t train them in complete isolation. There needs to be at least one worship time when the whole church family can come together. There are times such as Sunday School and similar programs where they can get age appropriate material.
In education, we use the term zone of proximal development. In other words a concept that is too difficult for a child to grasp by themselves but with help of more mature learners they can get it. Should we throw kids into a service and expect them to do everything right, to understand everything? No, but with the assistance of the family of believers they can.
Two more of my cents.
I agree with Christopher. Children’s church is not the only place that our children get fed. They can get their milk in Sunday school and other Wednesday and Sunday night programs. There should be at least one time that they are in the worship service. They may not be getting fed what everyone else is getting, but the certainly are learning… behavior in church, how to worship, how baptisms and other things go. There has to be a balance.
Ok, I didn’t mean to imply that they should never be there. I suppose that’s how it sounded. I was generally referring to one service. I don’t know many churches that have children’s church every service. Our church only has it on sunday morning so that is what I was referring to. And I was speaking mainly of the preaching aspect of the service. They can get their milk in other services but they don’t drink milk on wednesday and eat meat on Sunday. At least my son doesn’t.
I agree that they need to be in some services. Certainly they should take part in the other portions mentioned: singing, baptisms and how things go. Everyone defines worship differently. Worship begins before you ever enter the doors of the church. But if the preaching aspect requires instruction (ie they don’t understand and need instruction) then right then and there in the service is not the place to instruct them. And right or wrong, let’s be honest, behavior does play a part. But it shouldn’t be the reason why they have separate service.
I guess it all depends on what you want them to get out of it. What is the ultimate goal? If at your church the children can substantially gain what is needed from adult church and grow as a christian then they should be there…all the time. If not, they need to be somewhere they can.
Church isn’t just about an experience we want them to see, it’s about them receiving applicable truth that can be instilled in them to shape them. Actually, it’s probably both. If they can’t get that in adult church, they shouldn’t be there, regardless of their behavior.
Ok, i’ll shut up now.
Great points on all sides. I’m the “kids church” director at our church and I hear you! We are a relatively new church (4 years old in February)and we have only 1 service and we don’t “meet” regularly during the week at other times. (No Sunday School or traditional Wednesday Nights, we do have small groups meeting at various homes and a card night and a coffee night etc..but we don’t have our own building, we rent banquet rooms at a hotel on Sundays). ANYWAY, we used to have the kids (4years old-3rd grade) stay in for worship and then go back to Kid’s Church. But as we watched our worship services, we found that the parents and kids spent more time fighting with each other then worshipping and by the time our pastor started preaching, the parents weren’t in the mood to receive. So we chose to incorporate into our Kid’s Church a worship time. This has helped parents to respond better to worship and I think the kids have too. Now I do agree that the kids need to observe “adult worship”, but I do think we need to be careful that if the “adult worship” is not a good model, that we need to try something else. We are trying to help some of our parents with their parenting skills, but as many of you know I’m sure, that is a VERY SLOW process. So my thoughts are that you need to prayerfully consider where your church maturity level lies in their worship response, how capable parents are at making worship a pleasant experience for themselves and their children, and what God is calling your church to do. I do think we need to be aware of all sides of this issue–Thanks for bringing it out for discussion!
I say children need to be in corporate worship even if they do make noise sometimes.
Shawna makes a good point. What kind of example is being set by the worship? That would be a good question to consider before making any descision.
lj, I hope I didn’t come off sounding like I was attacking your statements, that was not the purpose.
Christopher, no worries. I didn’t take offense. I just wanted to clear up any misunderstanding about my post.
Most certainly children should always be in the “main” service (whether it is Sunday morning, or afternoon if you are a mission work). Children were never left out of worship until about 30 years ago, anyway, when the evangelical Church in America became overwhelmed with making the Lord’s Day service comfortable and relevant for pagans.
Sunday School, if it is done well, is a great asset and should be broken out into age groups. For instance, the youngest tots can be catechized while the older kids start digging deeper. And the adult class can deal with tough topics like immorality, fidelity, etc. without having to worry about censoring the lessons.
As far as worship goes, however, if we leave our children out of the covenant body, we are effectively saying they are not fit to be in the presence of the Lord.
Our church has a very formal liturgy (but not high-church). The preaching is not the highlight of the service, rather, it is part of the preparation for the Lord’s Supper, which is at the end of every service. Our children can participate at every step of the service. My 2 1/2-year-old daughter knows when to say Amen, she kneels when we confess our sins, she sings the Doxology, the Gloria Patria, recites the Lord’s Prayer, recites the Apostles’ Creed, sings the three-fold Amen, and sits and listens to the sermon. While our pastor preaches (which lasts an hour), she can color, or look at books, or do her sewing card, but she hears more than we think. She is hearing the Word faithfully preached.
We have had her in the Sunday morning service consistently except for a two-month period when we moved to a new church with a slightly longer service. We brought her in when she turned two. There is a nursery for children under 3, but at 3 they age out and join the family upstairs.
Your view of the covenant greatly impacts how you view ideas like children’s church. What is the church? It is the body of Christ, and our gathering together on the Lord’s Day is a gathering of His covenant community. What God says to us in His Word is for all people, from the youngest to the oldest. Kids might not understand the theology in a sermon, but they can certainly ask questions at home. Some churches print up an activity bulletin for kids (at the reading leve) with activities that are relevant to the sermon.
But to leave our children out, to tell them they are not yet a part of our family, is a dangerous thing. I’ve been in churches where teenagers finally come into worship for the first time in their life and they can’t stand it. They don’t understand it; they have spent all their years coloring in books, filling in blanks, and singing one or two kids’ songs that don’t teach them anything. While they should be greatly schooled in right worship, they are used to being entertained.
We should be eager to have our youngest infants in the covenant renewal service with us, being fed by the Word just like we are. Let them experience it with us. They, too, are in the presence of God and all His saints on the Lord’s Day, worshipping with all of Christ’s children. Christ commanded us to let the children come unto Him; the one time each week when we are truly lifted into heaven with the saints and all the company of angels, we are going to tell our little ones to go somewhere else and be out of sight? It is disobedience and it grieves me.
Now all that said, I realize that you might have situations where visitors will bring children who have never been trained to be in a service. Much grace and compassion and understanding must be given to them, and it is great practice anyway for church members not to turn and crane their necks or roll their eyes at the slightest baby or toddler sound.
If a service is designed so that children and elderly members cannot understand, then things need to be re-considered. While some things might be more easily accessible for different ages, they should still be able to hear the admonition and love from the pastor, declaring the grace and mercy of God to all of His covenant children, and should be able to say “Christ was declared today, even if I don’t understand what X meant.”
I agree completely with the necessity of children in worship with their parents, but disagree with your reasoning on Children’s Church. At our church we have services Sunday School, Sunday AM, Sunday PM and Wednesday PM.
Wednesday PM we have classes for kids segregated by both gender and grade.
Sunday School is the traditional grade divisions.
Sunday AM we have the ’segregated’ worship of Children’s Church. This is a dynamic service on a child’s level, where they do more than hear about worship, they learn to worship!
Sunday PM we have our children with families (probably 40% of the congregation participate in both AM and PM services). While in the past it was seen as necessity, since we had no children’s program Sunday night. Now, we are emphasizing the role of parents leading their children spiritually by being an example of worship and helping their child understand the worship experience so they can fully participate in it.
It is not ‘Children’s Church’ vs. ‘Children in Church’ as I’ve seen this topic depicted. It is really about whether parents are willing to take the lead spiritually regarding their children, or whether they abdicate that responsibility in hopes a Children’s Pastor will accept it. All too often Children’s Pastors will (just as Youth Pastors will, regarding teen discipleship).
It is up to us who lead ministries to children to extend those ministries to reach parents and equip them for leadership in the spiritual development of children.
I think one thing that we are forgetting is what does the Bible say?
No where in the N.T. do we have an example of segregating the worship service. Not one..
We know that we are not to go beyond the things that are written 1 Cor. 4:6; and not add to the words of God. Rev. 22:18,19
The O.T. was written for our learning Rom. 15:4
In Deut. 31:12-13 “Gather the people together, men and women, and children, and thy stranger that is within thy gates, that they may hear, and that they may learn, and fear the Lord your God, and observe to do all the words of this law: and the text goes on…
just because some things are convenient.. doesn’t mean we have the authority to do them.. We need the authority Col. 3: 16,17
The last problem with this doctrine is that an adult would have to teach the children. How then could the adult, teen or qualified person fulfull his/her duty? Would not they be forsaking Heb. 10:25 of the assembly themselves.. this would be a violation of God’s law..”
We need to be together.. Thanks for your time..
Josh
We have two worship services and the children’s church workers go to the early service first before Childrens church. So in that way they are not forsaking the assembly, but it does not excuse removing children from the service.
Our church is meeting on this tomorrow, and I plan on using some talking points from this article and the comments that were added. Thanks for the great resource!
Oh, and my opinion? As our church is relatively small, and would find it difficult to hire a permanent children’s pastor, I believe it is our responsibility to the kids to TRUST our pastor to continue to meet our family needs and to TRUST our congregation to continue to to worship with a willing spirit that will allow them to stay with us.
The sermons usually include parallels or illustrations that grabs my son’s attention (age 6) and he has made numerous comments of topics from the sermon that he would never hear in a children’s church. A few months ago, he got into a conversation with me about the Tabernacle!
Tomorrow, my vote isn’t against Children’s Church. Rather, the vote is FOR the pastor God chose for our church family.
My Testimony
In light of last night’s miracle of grace, I feel that it is time to share with you the story of my walk with Christ. Just so you know, I have never shared this story publically. In fact, very few…
I favor having a children’s church, although I can see the merit of the arguments against it. I strongly feel that the church can loose kids for life by creating an environment where they just have to sit still during a service and sermon that they don’t understand and is not really not designed for them to understand. Remember sitting in church as a kid, squirming in your seat, waiting for it to end? I know many adults who still think of church only in those terms based upon their childhood experiences. It’s hard to be “fishers of men” while similtaneously creating that kind of baggage.
Well I attend a small church (50 members) and we have children’s church with attendance of about 20 kids and it is so beautiful. They spend most of their time in corporate worship with adults and the other time in children’s church.
Our order of service begins with the Call To Worship which is followed by an intensive praise period, Pastorial Observations, a possible sermonette by our co-pastor or an associate minister, and offering. All of this the children are present for. It is at this time that they are dismissed into their own service - that is held by licensed and ordained ministers and volunteers staff the separate nursery area. These children are taught who they are in christ - they have their own altar call - where they are taught to bring ALL their concerns to Jesus - whether it be a skinned knee a sick grandma or even a pet. They are given instruction for living, taught how to deal with bullies and friends. I wish that such an aggressive youth ministry was available for me when I was growing up. It wasn’t until I was grown and studying the scriptures for myself that I learned just how concerned Jesus really is about everything that concerns us. They are really taught of the Lord. And it has made a tremendous impact upon our church. But an absolute COMMMITMENT to actual ministry is key to making this work.
Hello in there! God’s Blessing on you all!
I am a children church teacher! In our church
we have children who sit with their parents and
also those who come to children church. I have
been teaching for 35 years or so. It would be a wonderful thing if children were able to comprehend and follow along in a church service.
I can remember looking forward to one elderly
man who always had a stick of gum for me!!!!
I did enjoy the singing but other than that–I
used to get pinced alot for wiggling. My memories
planted in my heart was from our Sunday School and the biggest VBS. These were geared down to
my age at the time and the Bible stories were
grafted upon my heart. —-Who did I learn about?
JESUS!!!! Take a minute and think about taking
Algebra in grade school!!!! Yeh! right! Need I say more! As love for Jesus grew in my heart,
and as I grew–I was then ready for the love of His Worship Service. I seldom missed Sunday,
Sunday nights, or Wednesdays, even without my parents. I looked forward to going to church.
There are many sad to say children who cross our
paths whose parents never go to church.
Grandma, Pa, or Mom and Dad may just want to hear the message—and yes
I have been a Junior Church Teacher/Director for 15 years. I have been in small as well as large churches. We do separate the children on Sunday mornings with Nursery up to age 2, Toddlers Church age 2 & 3, Children’s church age 5 & 6, Junior Church age 7-12. Smaller churches usually has nursery and on Children’s Church. Sunday nights everyone is together and also I take off the fifith Sunday of the month (4 times per year) to let the children view morning worship, because most of the time morning worship is bigger and runs a little differently. Also, for the children that come with no parents and only on Sunday mornings they would never see adult worship. I do not agree with separating the children because of behavior problems. I am very clear with my Junior Church, I am not baby sitting, if you do not listen I let them know their parents can watch them. In my Junior Church we have singing as well as specials, most important we have alter calls and if someone needs prayer we all gather around that person to pray. I truly try to teach and prepare these children for adult worhsip. I want the children before they leave my class to be rock solid in their faith keeping Jesus first in all they do. The lesson are not just Bibles stories that are told to the 3 & 4 year olds. We have stories which talks about the Tabernacle and breaks it down to show piece by piece what everything stands for and how it applies to us. We have models to look at etc. We talk about the Armor of God. Once the children get to Junior Church they are past the regualr Bible Stories and they should be digging deeper, but I do not feel they are nessecary ready for adult learning. This would depend on the individual child. We do not make any child attend these churches it is up to the parents and them. Sometimes I have had people ask me could they leave at eleven, I tell them YES go and enjoy. I have also had people stay until 13, with there parents asking could they. My class is always open for any parent to sit in on to hear a lesson, I do not want any notice just show up. I do believe in you knowing what your children are being taught. I have actually had a few adults tell me they had reather sit in our class just because being a new Christian they felt as if they were not understanding what the preacher was saying and they actually learned something in our class. Sometimes for new Christians we tend to talk about things assuming everyone understands. I think Children Church is good as long as you treat it as a Sanctuary just as Adult Santuary. I have to remember I will be judged on what I teach these children. I have had many leave my class to join the adult choir, sing Sunday morning specials. Also, have had a few wanting to teach. I always tell them to give themselves a few years before taking themselves out of adult service with any teaching they want to help with, because they need to continue to grow, as we all do. Thanks for listening
Just wanted to say thanks for the great ideas.
I am a little confused as to why there is a need for baby people to be in a Jr Church and Baby Christians can jump right in to the meat?
Is it not important for the pastor to feed the whole family baby people, baby Christians and mature christians alike. I assume that the baby people are at the same table when fed meat, milk or whatever stage they are at? Do some of you actually send your 10 month olds or 2 or 6 year or up to 12 year olds to another room with another cook? My sister’s church has started a teen church “to meet their needs?”
I think we are getting carried away and am saddened by it.
My husband and I have both taught in Jr church before we had our own children and it can be done well. But there is no replacement for the family worship as a tool for raising godly kids.
Forcing children to sit through a service they do not understand can seed resentment and bitterness in them when they are adults. The reason for “children’s church” is to teach them to worship God at their level: sing songs about Jesus at their level, collect offerings, teach a Bible story at their level, etc. Children’s Sunday school should reinforce (not introduce) that mentality, just as adult Sunday school reinforces (not introduces) that for adults.
In addition, to offer that only in Children’s Sunday school would miss windows of opportunities with children whose parents can’t stay for Sunday school (as happens in my church).
Furthermore, those who really want their children to stay with them in adult service are free to “opt-out” their children from children’s church. They shouldn’t be forced to send their children there, so those parents would still get what they want. But by eliminating children’s church, those who want their children to have a worship service at their own level cannot “opt-in” their children. They *are* forced to do things one way only.
What about newborn babies? I am breastfeeding my newborn. After a very difficult last month of pregnancy, and then recovery, I missed a lot of fellowship. I needed to be in worship with the Body for my own recovery and to celebrate the birth of my child. God designed for the newborn to be comforted and nourished by her mother. (they were attached 100 percent of the time before birth!) Life is a gradual weaning process for a child from birth to adulthood when they go from complete dependency to independence. How can a pastor look a newborn and mother in the eye and ask them to be separated? For who’s good? It is rather disgusting to me. Let the little children come, and do not forbid them.
If we want to encourage good parenting, hmmmmm, asking the mother to set the baby aside is probably not the best way to do it. You all can debate the older children, whose needs are different, but as for my newborn, she stays with me right now. Day care at church! That’s what it is. Where is our compassion for our children?
My church had a viewing room just outside the sanctuary, where the mothers went and fed their babies and could still watch the service. We could even slip back into the service in the back after the sermon. We felt a part of things but kept the babies from crying in the service. It worked really well. Suddenly they changed the policy and it hurt untold numbers of families. THey are babies for only a short time. Again, I ask, where is our compassion and our desire to carry out the Lord’s design?
I go to a church in which the children stay and worship with the adults with a nursery open for parents to bring their babies in if necessary, but no one man’s it during the service. I had never experienced this before and initially it was unnerving… but the taching was SO EXCELLENT that it kept us from leaving. Now we have come to love and deeply appreciate having all 6 of our children with us, four of whom are 5 years old and younger. It has been a blessing not only singing with them, but training them to sit still. In contrast, before we came to this church, we visited one that had a sign posted above the entry door into the sanctuary… “Children not allowed, please respect the adults wanting to concentrate on the message by putting children in their appropriate classes.” It took us 45 minutes to figure out where they had to go. And then, i guess there was a family visiting that did not see the sign and brought their children with them. The glares were horrid. And if the child made a slight peep, the pastor immediately addressed it from the pupit asking the family to take the child out. I imagine they all left and never came back. It was a HUGE church with 3 packed services on Sunday morning and 2 on Saturday night to help accommodate the many people.
Jennifer. I think that the room in the back of the sanctuary where mothers can go is a great idea. I wonder if you could tell us why they changed the policy?
Pressed,
I assume it is “pressed but not crushed”?
Our pastors (actually not all) felt that children were a distraction to others. But I honestly NEVER saw it during our service. My baby would wrinkle her bottom lip and I was out the door. And they had been discussing “other options” for months. And I know for a fact that there is high turnover in the back children’s section, because most of the time mother’s do get their babies into the nursery as they get older. In other words, the children that were supposedly the problem in the beginning of the process wouldn’t be the same children now. Furthermore, they openly admitted it was just a couple children. Can we not go directly to one another anymore? Our culture loves to pass new laws instead of holding people to the old laws. But in the Body? We are called to relation, and honest admonition.
I hope this answers your question! We lost something really special and are praying for the church.
I think a viewing room is an excellent idea and our church would have that, but it wasn’t in the original plan for our current building and so we don’t have the room. We do have some parents who bring their children into the service, and I have no problem with that when they are willing to get up and slip out the back when they get fussy or cry. Unfortunatly there has been some who just sit there and talk to their child outloud in the middle of the service and never get up and leave, which I have a problem with that. That being said, we’ve never forced anyone to take their child anywhere. If there is a problem at our church we normally deal with it face to face, upfront, and I think people appreciate that for the most part.
I guess I don’t understand why they would change that. Wouldn’t the viewing room keep babies from being a distraction rather than making it a distraction?
i wanted to quote Pressed in an article I’m doing for our church but didn’t have a name
Craig Tanner. My info is also on the sidebar of my website.
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